My reason for writing is very simple. I want to describe how loving, personal, faithful and tender God is. He is someone you can trust, give yourself to, and never be disappointed.
I was 22 years old when he began to do a miracle in my life. I did not know God and was drifting aimlessly, experimenting spiritually and going to dangerous extremes, flirting with disaster on many occasions. In the midst of all that, he sent a person into my life that I respected and loved dearly, and as a result I started to become curious about the Bible.
But nothing changed until one morning, sitting in the living room listening to my favorite rock band, I heard a voice coming out of the music. The voice was speaking to me, but the words were mixing with the song, and I could not understand what was being said. I was however aware of the voice moving slowly from a location in front of me, until it stood behind me. Then over my right shoulder I plainly heard, “I have been waiting a long time for this day.”
Sensing what I can only describe as pure evil, I jumped from my chair and literally ran out of the room to get away. I somehow knew that this “voice” wanted to possess me and take control of my life.
Now in the kitchen and feeling as though I had escaped whatever was threatening me, I decided to eat lunch. With lunch finished, I walked back to the living room intending to read the Bible my friend had given me just days before.
But as I crossed the living room, God gave me a Vision of hell.
I was, without warning, in a place of total darkness, darkness I could feel. And I was alone, completely alone, yet aware of God. More precisely, I was aware of perpetually going farther and farther from God.
That realization shook me, but then I caught a glimpse of something even more alarming. In addition to the agonizing despair of separation from God, the destruction awaiting my soul in hell would be absolute, annihilation, as if I never existed! In hell one is entirely alone, and ultimately, entirely forgotten.
Then suddenly I was back, standing in the living room again.
Immediately, mercifully, God showed me that my sin was taking me to hell, and in the same instant showed me to simply ask him for forgiveness. Without another thought I knelt and prayed, “God, forgive my sin, and please, don’t let my life come to nothing.”
As soon as those words were uttered, God took over. And when he did, every dark power scattered. I was still on my knees praying, but the feeling inside was like running and casting my life completely on him in pure relief and abandon. There was no thought of holding back, God truly carried me in that moment. How else could I have known what to do? How else could I have understood what was happening? He pulled me out of the dark prison I had made for myself and set me free!
In practical terms, it was as if someone walked into the room and turned on the lights, putting an end to every evil in my past with the flip of a switch. My mind was instantly clear and I had real excitement and anticipation about the future. It sounds cliche, but there was a light in me.
In spiritual terms, God became my Father. I was very literally born a second time, made into his child, and given a new start.
I was a new person with a new life ahead. What that life would look like did not concern me yet, all I wanted was to know the one who had saved me, and I wanted to know him more than anything else.