My reason for blogging is very simple. Let me describe how loving, personal, faithful and tender God is. He is someone you can trust, give yourself to, and never be disappointed.
I was 22 years old when he began to do a miracle in my life. Not knowing God, I was drifting aimlessly and experimenting spiritually, going to dangerous extremes and flirting with disaster on many occasions, when God sent a person into my life that I respected and loved dearly. As a result I became curious about the Bible.
But nothing changed until one morning, sitting in the living room listening to some rock and roll, a voice came out of the music. The voice was speaking to me, but the words were mixing with the song, and unintelligible. The voice moved slowly from in front until it stood behind, then over my right shoulder, plain, loud words, “I have been waiting a long time for this day.”
Sensing what can only be described as pure evil, I jumped from my chair and literally ran out of the room to get away. Somehow it was clear that this “voice” wanted to possess me and take control of my life.
Now in the kitchen and feeling safe from whatever had threatened me, I decided to eat lunch. Then, lunch finished and crossing the living room to read the Bible a friend had given me just days before, God gave me a Vision of hell.
I was, without warning, in a place of total darkness, darkness I could feel. And I was alone, completely alone, yet aware of God. More precisely, I was aware of perpetually going farther and farther from God.
That realization shook me, but then I caught a glimpse of something even more alarming. In addition to the agonizing despair of separation from God, the destruction awaiting my soul in hell would be absolute – annihilation – as if I never existed!
In hell one is entirely alone, and ultimately, entirely forgotten.
Then suddenly I was back, standing in the living room again.
Immediately, mercifully, God showed me that my sin was taking me to hell, and in the same instant showed me to simply ask him for forgiveness. Without another thought I knelt and prayed, “God, forgive my sin, and please, don’t let my life come to nothing.”
As soon as those words were uttered, God took over. And when he did, every dark power scattered. Still on my knees praying, the feeling inside was like running and throwing my life completely at God in pure relief and abandon. There was no thought of holding back.
God truly carried me in that moment. How else could I have known what to do? How else could I have understood what was happening? He pulled me out of the dark prison I had made for myself, and set me free!
In practical terms, it was as if someone walked into the room and turned on the lights, putting an end to every evil in my past with the flip of a switch. My mind was instantly clear and I had real excitement and anticipation about the future. It sounds cliche, but suddenly there was light.
In spiritual terms, God became my Father. I was very literally born a second time, made his child, and given a new start.
I was a new person with a new life ahead. What that life would look like and where it would lead did not concern me. All I wanted was to know the one who had saved me, and I wanted to know him more than anything else.